So, at long last you are leaving, you finally found the door.
I guess it's safe to say we won't be seeing you no more.
I think I'll rent a billboard up there on the Interstate;
A sign that reads, "ALLRIGHT, SHE'S GONE...AND ISN'T LIFE JUST GREAT!"

And so, at last, you're leaving, I hear New York's prepared;
They've dressed in black and one whole week of mourning was declared.
I'm told that all the residents do nothing now but moan
And even Lady Liberty's been heard to give a groan.

So, you finally are leaving...can I help you on your way?
I'd hate to think that anything could add to your delay.
Can I carry any luggage? Can I show you to the plane?
God forbid that some calamity would cause you to remain.

It's rumored you are leaving; do you promise, do you vow?
Please say that nothing in the world could stop you going now.
I hope that luck is generous and fate will be that kind,
Because it would be just like you to up and change your mind!

Well, this time you're really leaving, heading for that New York scene.
Am I resentful, full of envy? No, I always look this green!
Now you're off to the Big Apple...ask me if I wish you well;
I really don't see why I should, stuck here in Humid Hell!

Can't believe that you are leaving; can't believe it took this long;
I think I'll dance a jig and sing a happy little song.
So, just after your arrival, going to buy some clothes that match?
I hear they can do wonders on Fifth Avenue at Sax.

You're leaving, right? I mean, it really isn't all a lie?
'Cos it would be typical of you to raise my hopes that high.
I can hear the little chuckle as you rub your hands with glee
And say, with heartfelt malice, "You ain't seen the last of me!"

Haven't left yet? And I thought by now you'd be a socialite:
Cocktail parties, formal luncheons and the theater every night.
Do I detect that you suspect a tiny hint of jealousy?
Coming from a happy, well-contented "country girl," like me?

Please confirm that you are leaving, since it cannot come too soon.
Well, after years of insults, did you think I'd change my tune?
Now, ask again if I will miss you just so I can answer, "NO!"
And then pass that box of Kleenex over here before you go.